For many, the word "feedback" can be met with a sense of dread or anxiety. It's easy to feel as if feedback is a personal critique, an attack on character, or a measure of worth.
"I used to dread feedback. It felt personal. Then someone told me, 'Feedback isn't about you as a person, it's about your actions. And actions can change.'"
Understanding the real reason people give feedback can help you to translate that information into action without side-swiping your sense of self.
This perspective is a breath of fresh air in the sometimes stifling room of performance reviews and feedback sessions.
To truly benefit from feedback, we need to shift our mindset and see it for what it is: an evaluation of actions and behaviors, not an assessment of our inherent value as individuals.
Feedback in a professional setting is almost always focused on your actions – how you perform tasks, interact with others, or contribute to the team or company.
It's about identifying areas where you can improve and grow, not about criticizing who you are as a person.
For more on how you can provide well-constructed feedback to others, check out our post Setting Expectations for Constructive Feedback.
The beauty of focusing on actions is that actions can change. If feedback points out that a particular behavior isn't effective, you can adjust that behavior.
If it suggests a different approach, you can try it out.
This is a powerful realization – you are not locked into current patterns, and you have the ability to change and improve.
So, how can we shift our perspective to see feedback as a tool for change rather than a personal critique?
First, it's crucial to detach your self-worth from your actions.
This is easier said than done, but it's a vital step in receiving feedback effectively.
Remember, when someone gives you feedback, they're not saying you're a bad person. They're saying, "Here's how you could do this task more effectively."
Next, consider feedback as a growth opportunity. Instead of viewing it as criticism, see it as a chance to learn and improve.
Each piece of feedback is a stepping stone towards becoming better at what you do.
Finally, act on the feedback you receive. Change your actions where necessary, try out new approaches, and continuously learn and adapt.
This is the essence of growth and improvement.
Receiving feedback doesn't have to be a dreaded event. By shifting our perspective and understanding that feedback is about actions, not character, we can approach it as an opportunity for growth and improvement.
So the next time you're about to receive feedback, remember: it's not personal, it's actionable. And most importantly, actions can change.
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